---

Posted by tchandler on 04-16-2004 at13:24:

  it's just the bass player again, every one calm down

hi kids! it's friday. and that means it's time for a story. no it's not a DA story, it's an America's Funniest Videos moment. no i didn't get hit in the crotch with a baseball bat but it's almost as good! it was a rather spectacular event last thanksgiving and it's truly a shame that no one was standing by with a camera. (even though it happened to me, it was hysterically funny, even at the moment.)

i was with my family at a friends house along with a large number of people. so many in fact that the hostess had to put several tables together in order to seat everyone.

my wife and i sat across from each other at what appeared to be a card table. it was pushed up against another table and what the hostess failed to mention was that each of it's four legs was resting on a stack of 5 books to bring it up to the level of the table next to it. (it had a long tablecloth which hid the accident-waiting-to-happen setup.)

yes, of course you can see this coming down the block. we had all just been seated, said grace, and all i did was lift my knife and fork and just baaaaarely touch a piece of turkey.

in a monty python-like exaggeration of violence, the table instantly and completely collapsed, food and wine went flying and spraying into the air, glasses and plates crashed into splinters on the floor, and people were running and screaming.

i'm almost certain that at least one person had a large gob of dressing fly into their face and they had to do the old Oliver Hardy thing where they have to scoop the stuff out of each eye sockett, slowly, and then give a slow burn (at me, in this case.)

i'm also pretty sure that i fell down during the whole thing because i had food and wine all over me and derri of the Choir (sorry carl) and jerry chamberlain were both standing over me mocking and laughing.


well folks, how about you? any AFV moments at semi-formal (or other) gatherings? tell us if you fell down or got hit in the crotch with a baseball bat in front of a large group of people!

---

Posted by baxter on 04-16-2004 at13:28:



That's hilarious Tim!

i got hit in the crotch with a line-drived softball in front of many of my junior high friends. That was not hilarious...to me.

---

Posted by Lost Canine on 04-16-2004 at13:31:

 

You love feeding my sermon illustration file, don't you!

---

Posted by tchandler on 04-16-2004 at13:32:

 

junior high line-drive-to-the-crotch incidents are dfinitely not funny at the time. i had a few of those too, baxter.

---

Posted by carl on 04-16-2004 at13:33:

yeah, but being the second-biggest fish in a small pond ain't nothin'! :P

quote:

Originally posted by tchandler hi kids! it's friday. and that means it's time for a story. no it's not a DA story, it's an America's Funniest Videos moment. no i didn't get hit in the crotch with a baseball bat but it's almost as good! it was a rather spectacular event last thanksgiving and it's truly a shame that no one was standing by with a camera. (even though it happened to me, it was hysterically funny, even at the moment.) i was with my family at a friends house along with a large number of people. so many in fact that the hostess had to put several tables together in order to seat everyone. my wife and i sat across from each other at what appeared to be a card table. it was pushed up against another table and what the hostess failed to mention was that each of it's four legs was resting on a stack of 5 books to bring it up to the level of the table next to it. (it had a long tablecloth which hid the accident-waiting-to-happen setup.) yes, of course you can see this coming down the block. we had all just been seated, said grace, and all i did was lift my knife and fork and just baaaaarely touch a piece of turkey. in a monty python-like exaggeration of violence, the table instantly and completely collapsed, food and wine went flying and spraying into the air, glasses and plates crashed into splinters on the floor, and people were running and screaming. i'm almost certain that at least one person had a large gob of dressing fly into their face and they had to do the old Oliver Hardy thing where they have to scoop the stuff out of each eye sockett, slowly, and then give a slow burn (at me, in this case.) i'm also pretty sure that i fell down during the whole thing because i had food and wine all over me and derri of the Choir (sorry carl) and jerry chamberlain were both standing over me mocking and laughing. well folks, how about you? any AFV moments at semi-formal (or other) gatherings? tell us if you fell down or got hit in the crotch with a baseball bat in front of a large group of people!

Now y'r just sucking up so that K-9 will do sermons about you every week....

---

Posted by tchandler on 04-16-2004 at13:34:

 

LK-9 -- man, i think you could find a sermon in almost anything. that's a gift!

---

Posted by JR88 on 04-16-2004 at13:34:

 

That's a great "funny" story Tim

---

Posted by tchandler on 04-16-2004 at13:35:

 

quote:

Now y'r just sucking up so that K-9 will do sermons about you every week....

("please, LK-9, PLEASE speak of me!!!!!"

---

Posted by sprinklerhead on 04-16-2004 at13:38:

  RE: it's just the bass player again, every one calm down

quote:

Originally posted by tchandler well folks, how about you? any AFV moments at semi-formal (or other) gatherings? tell us if you fell down or got hit in the crotch with a baseball bat in front of a large group of people!

I shared mine yesterday in the "snow" thread.

Can't beat fun at the county fair.

---

Posted by DwDunphy on 04-16-2004 at13:39:

  No spectacular stories to tell

For Easter we had a huge glazed ham and I went and overdid it.

About twenty minutes of extreme stomach heaviness later, I knew it was gonna get ugly. Problem was, my brother who is known for his crapper sabbaticals, was reigning o'er the throne.

What to do? What to do?

I ran down to the basement and blew chunks down the sump-pump hole.

Hey. You asked.

DwD

---

Posted by tchandler on 04-16-2004 at13:40:

 

DWD -- wow!

---

Posted by JR88 on 04-16-2004 at13:41:

  My AFV story....

I was trying to get some good pictures of Mike and Mark in MO and trying to stay out of the Videographer's way I tripped over my own feets and fell to an embarrassing thud. Hope he didn't get that on video






It was kinda funny though

---

Posted by sprinklerhead on 04-16-2004 at13:42:

  RE: No spectacular stories to tell

quote:

Originally posted by DwDunphy For Easter we had a huge glazed ham and I went and overdid it. About twenty minutes of extreme stomach heaviness later, I knew it was gonna get ugly. Problem was, my brother who is known for his crapper sabbaticals, was reigning o'er the throne. What to do? What to do? I ran down to the basement and blew chunks down the sump-pump hole. Hey. You asked. DwD

That's one to tell the grandkids!!

---

Posted by tchandler on 04-16-2004 at13:46:

 

sprinklerhead -- just read your story in the snow thread. that's a classic!!

---

Posted by sprinklerhead on 04-16-2004 at13:51:

 

Might have won the big prize at AFV if we had the camera.

---

Posted by Mountain Fan on 04-16-2004 at14:04:

  RE: it's just the bass player again, every one calm down

That's a great story, Tim!

So, who was talkin' the MOST turkey?

---

Posted by Mountain Fan on 04-16-2004 at14:12:

 

I know I've had plenty of moments but my frazzled mind is drawing a blank right now. Probably because of your rock star self appearing here again!

I did see an episode of AFV recently where there was this wedding and the guy (best man?) was blindfolded and getting ready to go up the "brides" dress for the garter... except that it wasn't the bride! Another guy (groom?) had taken the brides' place, complete with frilly skirt. That guy sure looked embarassed when he took his blindfold off after he made a big show of going up the dress to get the garter.

More fun than pin the tail on the donkey, huh?

---

Posted by dennis on 04-16-2004 at15:22:



In the 6th grade it was "cool" to kick each other in the nuts!

---

Posted by bereal on 04-17-2004 at00:24:

 

quote:

Originally posted by Mountain Fan I know I've had plenty of moments but my frazzled mind is drawing a blank right now. Probably because of your rock star self appearing here again! I did see an episode of AFV recently where there was this wedding and the guy (best man?) was blindfolded and getting ready to go up the "brides" dress for the garter... except that it wasn't the bride! Another guy (groom?) had taken the brides' place, complete with frilly skirt. That guy sure looked embarassed when he took his blindfold off after he made a big show of going up the dress to get the garter. More fun than pin the tail on the donkey, huh?

Just a clarification:
I watched this same AFV with MF and I believe it was the groom going up the "bride's" dress for the garter (except it was the best man disguised). The groom was completely embarrassed and the bride looked quite pleased.

---

Posted by bereal on 04-17-2004 at00:28:

 

quote:

Originally posted by dennis In the 6th grade it was "cool" to kick each other in the nuts!

In the 8th grade, a guy was bugging me while we were in line for water. I told him over and over to leave me alone and he wouldn't. So I turned around and kneeed (spelling? ) him in the nuts! He was in a lot of pain the rest of the day, and he never bothered me again. )