Daniel Amos Message Board | Print: an interesting fact about Ghandi

Posted by Jim Muglia on 05-02-2002 at23:31:

an interesting fact about Ghandi

Greetings,

Ghandi was a deeply religious man. He and his followers would often walk on long pilgimages barefoot. A somewhat frail man, he was known to deny himself by fasting a lot. As a result of this fasting he would often have bad breath.

Because of these things he was known as a "super-calloused fragile mystic aneorexic with halitosis". ba-da-bing!!!

Take care,
Jim

Posted by ™ on 05-03-2002 at12:01:

Posted by Gamgee on 05-03-2002 at12:24:

That's a really lame joke...

I love it! Big Grin

Posted by jc on 05-03-2002 at12:45:

turnabaout

A fellow got a job driving a busload of Special Ed kids to school.
The bus was painted up and called The Sesame Street Bus
On his first day heres who he picked up:

Overweight twin girls named Patricia.
A fellow named Ross, All He could say is "I'm Special". He was
A man named Lester Reese, who had the annoying habit of
Taking off his shoes and "self massaging" his feet.
When He got home after his first day of work
His wife said" Hows the new job?"
He replied..

Oh nothing unusual……….
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just two obese Patti's, Special Ross and Lester Reese picking
bunions on a Sesame Street Bus.

sorry
JimiNY

Posted by Joey T. on 05-03-2002 at12:47:

quote:

Originally posted by jc
A fellow got a job driving a busload of Special Ed kids to school.
The bus was painted up and called The Sesame Street Bus
On his first day heres who he picked up:

Overweight twin girls named Patricia.
A fellow named Ross, All He could say is "I'm Special". He was
A man named Lester Reese, who had the annoying habit of
Taking off his shoes and "self massaging" his feet.
When He got home after his first day of work
His wife said" Hows the new job?"
He replied..

Oh nothing unusual……….
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just two obese Patti's, Special Ross and Lester Reese picking
bunions on a Sesame Street Bus.

sorry
JimiNY

LOL!!!

Posted by Dr Rich on 05-03-2002 at16:16:

quote:

Originally posted by jc
A fellow got a job driving a busload of Special Ed kids to school.
The bus was painted up and called The Sesame Street Bus
On his first day heres who he picked up:

Overweight twin girls named Patricia.
A fellow named Ross, All He could say is "I'm Special". He was
A man named Lester Reese, who had the annoying habit of
Taking off his shoes and "self massaging" his feet.
When He got home after his first day of work
His wife said" Hows the new job?"
He replied..

Oh nothing unusual……….
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just two obese Patti's, Special Ross and Lester Reese picking
bunions on a Sesame Street Bus.

sorry
JimiNY

my oh my

Posted by Andrew on 05-05-2002 at16:41:

Groaner

There was a bank teller called Patricia Wack. One day she was working when a frog hopped up onto her counter.

A little surprised she was about to shoo the frog off when it spoke to her. "I want a loan" the frog said.

Patricia was even more surprised by this but decided to play along. "Ok Whats your name?"

"Kermit...Kermit Jagger"

"Sure and do you have any collateral for the loan"

The frog pulled out a small ceramic elephant.

Mrs wack was unsure what it was or how to describe it on the loan application form so she went to her manager and explained the situation.

So the manager said......

.............
............
...........
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.

That's a nic-nac Patty Wack give the frog a loan. His old man's a rolling stone.

Posted by BigDork on 05-05-2002 at16:59:

ok, if I have to......

The Rabbi and the Trids

There was a Rabbi who was shipwrecked on an island. He knew that there was no way he could get off so he decided to make the best of it.
One day in his exploration of the island he came across an interesting tribe of people. They devised some kind of communication and he found out they called themselves Trids. He asked if he could join the tribe. The Trids said yes. So the Rabbi did everything that the Trids did.

One day about a month after the Rabbi joined the Trids, there was a loud trumpet sounding. The Trids all lined up and started walking up the hill. The Rabbi joined them thinking it was some religious ceremony. The Trids stopped on top of a cliff by the sea. They were in a straight line. The Rabbi followed. Then a giant came out of the woods and began to kick each Trid off the cliff. The giant passed the Rabbi and continued to kick the Trids off the cliff. When the Giant was finished, the Rabbi went to the Giant and asked why he didn't get kicked off.

The Giant replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

Posted by BigDork on 05-05-2002 at17:00:

these are really lame.........
but i still laugh....
BD

Posted by BigDork on 05-05-2002 at17:12:

ok, one more

A three-legged dog (keeping it TST related) walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sadles up to the bar and announces:

"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw. "

Posted by Gamgee on 05-05-2002 at20:27:

Here's a good (bad) one

A termite walks into a bar and asks,

"Is the bar tender here?"

Posted by Andrew on 05-05-2002 at21:18:

bar jokes

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey why the long face?"

A man walks into a bar. Got two stiches in his head.

Posted by Gamgee on 05-05-2002 at21:35:

quote:

Originally posted by Andrew

A man walks into a bar. Got two stiches in his head.

Two guys walk into a bar. You'd think that the second guy would have gotten a clue.

Posted by Gamgee on 05-05-2002 at21:36:

I just had to give this board a 5 star rating...

... it's too lame to deserve less.

Posted by Andrew on 05-05-2002 at22:56:

Donkey talk

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg?
A: A wonky donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A: A winky wonky donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love?
A: A bonky winky wonky donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind?
A: A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin'love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes? A: A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano?
A: A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes, playing piano and driving a Truck?
A: bl**dy talented!

Posted by Gamgee on 05-06-2002 at12:39:

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
Big Grin

A piece of string walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve string here." So the string ties himself into a knot, and then frays one end. He walks back into the bar, and the bartender says, "Aren't you the string who was just here?" The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
Big Grin

Posted by Andrew on 05-06-2002 at17:55:

Doctor doctor

A man is lieing ina hospital bed.

Doctor Doctor I can't feel my legs..

That's because we cut off your arms.

--------------------------------------

Doctor Doctor people keep ignoring me

Next!

-------------------------------------

Doctor Doctor I'm in the wrong joke

To get to the other side of course

Posted by Jim Muglia on 05-06-2002 at19:11:

more stellar humor

Greetings,

Farmer to the bull: "How do you bulls do it? Every time there's an earthquake, I look out the window, and all the pigs, chickens, and cows are falling to the ground and rolling all over the place; but you bulls just somehow keep standing there almost perfectly still. How do you bulls manage to do that?"

Bull to the farmer: "Well, you see...

we bulls wobble but we don't fall down." ba-da-bing!!!

No apologies here; that one is funny!!!
Jim

Posted by Jim Muglia on 05-06-2002 at19:24:

...yet even more stellar humor

Greetings,

Q: Why was Chief Sitting Bull buried on the side of the hill?
A: Because he was dead.
----------------------------------------

If Abe Lioncoln were living today would he be:
A)running for governor of Nebraska
B) helping fellow Republicans get elected
C) desperately pounding and scratching to get out of his coffin?
----------------------------------------

Q: What did the one casket say to the other casket?
A: Hey, is that you coffin?
-----------------------------------------

Jewish son: Dad, can I please have five dollars?
Jewish dad: Four dollars? What the heck do you need three dollars for?
------------------------------------------

Pro-Israel, by the way (so don't call me an anti-Semite for that last joke, its just in fun. The only real Jewish person I've known happens to be very generous, by the way, plus Jesus and the apostles were Jewish),
Jim

Posted by Shemp on 05-07-2002 at13:49:

Q: What do you call a one legged woman?
A: Ilene

Q: What do you call a one legged woman in Chinese?
A: Irene

Q: Did you hear the one about the rope?

Ahh, skip it.