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Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at13:07:

  T.a.o.g.s.m.p!

Good lord, someone help me! The Assemblies of God Secret Mounted Police are after me for doing jumping jacks during a recitation of "The 16 Fundamental Truths of The Assemblies of God."

(I suddenly broke into involutary jumping jacks right after #8: "WE BELIEVE that Green Day are NOT a real punk rock band.")

What am I going to do?! Those Assemblies of God Secret Mounted police are BAD mofos!! Any advice is appreciated!!!

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Posted by carl on 03-11-2005 at13:09:



Just start barking. That'll help put them at ease while you make yr getaway.

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Posted by Eleanor on 03-11-2005 at13:09:

 

you shouldn't have anything to worry about barger, unless.....







































you weren't naked when you did the jumping jacks were you?

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Posted by carl on 03-11-2005 at13:11:



I'm sure yr Roydar would've went off if he HAD been...

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Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at13:11:

 

Naked?! Don't be silly! I was wearing my yellow chiffon evening dress.

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Posted by jiminy on 03-11-2005 at13:24:

 

WITH THAT PRETTY BLUE SCARF?

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Posted by jiminy on 03-11-2005 at13:26:

 

Does the AOG endorse the KJV?

start spoutin Thees and Thous

that could be part of the code to give em the slip........

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Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at13:35:

 

Thanks Jiminy, I'll give it a try!

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Posted by baxter on 03-11-2005 at13:37:

 

Berger,

You need to commit to memory Swaggart's entire mea culpa speech and use it with some croc tears when they approach you. It will hold the Mounties at bay for at least 30 seconds, and you can make a get away.

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Posted by Goliath on 03-11-2005 at13:37:

quote:

Originally posted by carl Just start barking. That'll help put them at ease while you make yr getaway.

But caaaaaaaaaaarlie, God doesn't LIKE it when we make fun of onomatopoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

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Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at13:39:

 

Nope, didn't work. I said "Wouldst thou please leave me alone?" and he smashed me over the head with a copy of the "Assemblies of God Position Papers." And yes, I'm hoping it doesn't refer to that either.

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Posted by baxter on 03-11-2005 at13:39:

 

You can also repeat the words "loving and reaching" several hundred times. This also seems to mollify them.

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Posted by Skippy the Wonder Dog on 03-11-2005 at13:39:



You said it, goliath!!!!

"Seek not, forbid not"??? Get a REAL pair of balls, you C&MA reject!!!

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Posted by Skippy the Wonder Dog on 03-11-2005 at13:40:

quote:

Originally posted by Berger Roy Al Nope, didn't work. I said "Wouldst thou please leave me alone?" and he smashed me over the head with a copy of the "Assemblies of God Position Papers." And yes, I'm hoping it doesn't refer to that either.

What the hell's wrong with papers, now???

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Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at13:41:

 

Ok, now I'm going to try to combine baxter's and carl's suggestions.

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Posted by baxter on 03-11-2005 at13:42:

 

Could you post a few of those positions?

For our edification only, of course.

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Posted by baxter on 03-11-2005 at13:45:

 

Berger,

if nothing else works, you could don some pajamas and spongebob slippers, feign a bad back, and weakly grab your crotch several times?

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Posted by carl on 03-11-2005 at13:46:



I'd like to think my son is a LITTLE more original than that.

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Posted by dorfsmith on 03-11-2005 at13:52:

 

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Posted by Mountain Fan on 03-11-2005 at13:54:

 



Bow wow WOW!