Daniel Amos Message Board | Print: T.a.o.g.s.m.p!

Daniel Amos Message Board (http://www.danielamos.com/wbb2/index.php)
- DA Related Discussion (http://www.danielamos.com/wbb2/board.php?boardid=4)
-- General Discussion (http://www.danielamos.com/wbb2/board.php?boardid=1)
--- T.a.o.g.s.m.p! (http://www.danielamos.com/wbb2/thread.php?threadid=8138)

Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at13:55:

quote:

if nothing else works, you could don some pajamas and spongebob slippers, feign a bad back, and weakly grab your crotch several times?

baxter,

I already tried that WHILE crying like Jimmy Swaggart and barking like a dog.

Posted by carl on 03-11-2005 at13:57:

Shocked

Wow. How could you NOT ever hurt a child while doing all that? Shocked

Posted by tchandler on 03-11-2005 at14:04:

wow. i haven't had time to read this whole thread, but could somebody please tell me what in the world is going on?

i called berger's neighbors and they found him wearing pajamas and spongebob slippers, feigning a bad back, grabbing his crotch, crying like jimmy swaggart and barking like a dog while standing next to a statue of a horse in a park in lubbock texas. (?!)

Posted by jiminy on 03-11-2005 at14:05:

quote:

Originally posted by baxter
Berger,

You need to commit to memory Swaggart's entire mea culpa speech and use it with some croc tears when they approach you. It will hold the Mounties at bay for at least 30 seconds, and you can make a get away.

LOL..

perhaps a lil more Tammy Faye around the eyes too- that'll leave a puddle of bluish black goop that they'll slip on like a banana peel.

Posted by carl on 03-11-2005 at14:05:

Cool

So it's been business as usual, then?

Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at14:07:

Thanks very much, Mommy! And I am NOT standing next to a statue of a horse in a park no matter what that dirtbag Chandler says! THESE ASSEMBLIES OF GOD SECRET MOUNTED POLICE ARE BAD MOFOS!!!

Posted by carl on 03-11-2005 at14:08:

Cool

I know, son. We've seen them mount things before. It's never pretty.

Posted by jiminy on 03-11-2005 at14:08:

Gentlemen gentlemen (I use that term loosely)

Thank you all- I needed a deep plunge into some visual and literary nonsense..
you all are the best!

Posted by baxter on 03-11-2005 at14:11:

Shocked

Berger,

If things get desperate, you could begin to recount the racist underpinnings of the Azusa Street Revival in a loud, firm voice and shame those mounties.

Posted by Mountain Fan on 03-11-2005 at14:14:

quote:

Originally posted by baxter
Berger,

If things get desperate, you could begin to recount the racist underpinnings of the Azusa Street Revival in a loud, firm voice and shame those mounties.

Yeah, put a paper bag on your head and pretend to be black. Tongue

Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at14:15:

quote:

If things get desperate, you could begin to recount the racist underpinnings of the Azusa Street Revival in a loud, firm voice and shame those mounties.

I have absolutely no idea what in the hell you're talking about, but what if I try doing some of my impressions?

Ladies and Gentlemen. From the 1962 motion picture "In Harm's Way", mr. John Waye. Mr. John Wayne, everybody. (ahem)

...

... ...""Well that'll make for a fancy court martial!"

Thanks! Thanks everybody! I'll be here all weegkkk. Try the scallops, they're great! Goodnight everybody! GKK!

Posted by carl on 03-11-2005 at14:16:

You COULD've left some of the mercury-garnished oysters, you know, Berger... Red Face

Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at14:18:

That was mercury?! I thought it was just some horseradish what had been out in the sun just a little too long.

Posted by jiminy on 03-11-2005 at14:20:

hmm - somethings been out in the sun too long, apparently.

Posted by baxter on 03-11-2005 at14:47:

Don't AG mounties recoil from oysters the way we all recoil from the Tuxedo Clad Megastar platitudes? Use them Berger!

Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at14:49:

Damb!! I ate all of 'em!! gkk!

Posted by Mountain Fan on 03-11-2005 at14:54:

well, when they start stuffin' ya after they cuff ya, you can puke all over 'em and that should be even more effective! Tongue

Posted by Berger Roy Al on 03-11-2005 at14:58:

Thanks Mountain Fanggkkk!! That may be my only hope!

Posted by tchandler on 03-11-2005 at15:00:

good grief. i can't seem to keep up with this. i just talked to berger's neighbors and he's still feigning and grabbing and barking and crying but now he's also eating raw oysters and throwing up on the horse statue. it'll be only a matter of time before some actual police show up.

Posted by Mountain Fan on 03-11-2005 at15:01:

Sure thing! I woulda told you to hit 'em with some Windex, but they're probably too used to it and I know how precious that is to you and what a shame it would be to waste any!