dennis 
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 09-19-2002
Posts: 13,303
Location: In not-quite earth, in not-quite heaven.
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Originally posted by tchandler
hi folks--
due to the recent lower rate of posting on the ol' damb, and by way of trying to do my part, here's a recent travel adventure. this sort of thing happens to me all the time and i'm sure it's happened to you.
the company i work for was flying me out of NYC and somehow got me a first class ticket at somewhere near the "coach" price. (this never happens and i always fly coach. it was a nice surprise but not a big deal to me. i'm used to coach.) i had to make a connection in memphis before i got home to nashville.
at the airport in NY they gave me two cardboard printouts that looked to me like tickets. at the departure gate, i handed over the first one and got on the plane in NY. when i got to memphis, as i was getting ready to board the plane, i handed over the second one and this, word for word, is what happened:
Northwest Airlines Lady: this isn't a ticket, sir.
me: excuse me?
Northwest Airlines Lady: i said, this isn't a ticket, sir.
me: (smiling) i heard you, i just don't understand wh--
Northwest Airlines Lady: i'll need to see your ticket, sir.
me: that's all they gave me.
Northwest Airlines Lady: no it's not. this is a receipt for a ticket, but they gave you an actual ticket.
me: no, honestly, that's all they gave me.
Northwest Airlines Lady: no it's not.
me: ma'am, i'm trying to tell you--
Northwest Airlines Lady: that's not all they gave you. they gave you a ticket as well.
me: ma'am, please listen to me. i--
Northwest Airlines Lady: ticket please?
me: but i--
Northwest Airlines Lady: then you've lost your ticket?
me: no. please, i'm not an eight year old. i know exactly what they gave me and i didn't lose anything.
Northwest Airlines Lady: i'm sorry, sir, i can't let you on the plane without a ticket.
(the last person has now boarded the plane and the plane is ready to leave.)
me: this doesn't make any sense. you told me this is a receipt for the ticket, so you know i've paid for the ticket.
Northwest Airlines Lady: yes, but you don't HAVE the ticket now, do you? i can't let you on the plane without it.
me: that makes no sense. here, look on the passenger charter. do you see my name?
Northwest Airlines Lady: (looking) hmmm, let's see. yes. here it is right here.
me: that would indicate that i've paid for a ticket then, correct?
Northwest Airlines Lady: that is correct, sir.
me: then why can't i just get on the plane?
Northwest Airlines Lady: you don't have your ticket.
me: (exasperated) BUT...BUT--
Northwest Airlines Lady: please don't make me say it again, sir.
(airplane engines revving)
me: (sigh) alright, what can i do then?
Northwest Airlines Lady: i'd have to charge you for a lost ticket.
me: oh, great. how much?
Northwest Airlines Lady: a hundred dollars.
me: (sigh -- i just wanna get home) ok, go ahead and do that.
Northwest Airlines Lady: i'm sorry, i can't do that, sir. there's not enough time.
me: what?! but you just said--
Northwest Airlines Lady: the plane is leaving, sir.
me: but--
Northwest Airlines Lady: that process would take too long, sir.
me: PLEASE, JUST TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO TO GET ON THE PLANE!
Northwest Airlines Lady: i'll have to sell you a new ticket, sir.
me: a new ticket!! oh man, i don't believe this. ok, ok! just something in "coach" then, please.
Northwest Airlines Lady: (looking) hmmmm, let's see. no, i'm sorry. i won't be able to do that.
me: what?! why not?!
Northwest Airlines Lady: there's only one seat left. and it's in first class.
me: THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S MY SEAT! THE ONE I'VE ALREADY PAID FOR! THE ONE I HAVE THIS "RECEIPT" FOR!!
Northwest Airlines Lady: they're closing the cabin doors, sir.
me: alright! i'll take it. look, at least i'll get the discount i got in NY, right?!
Northwest Airlines Lady: no sir, i'm sorry but i'll have to charge you the full first class fare.
me: what?!!
((yes, you guessed correctly. i paid through the nose, i paid twice for the exact same seat just so i could get home.)) |
Did you ever see "Planes Trains & Automobiles?" This sounds like it could have been a scene from that movie! 
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