Berger Roy Al
Swirling Eddies
Registration Date: 02-14-2003
Posts: 1,286
Location: I AM NOT insane!
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Good lord, someone help me! The Assemblies of God Secret Mounted Police are after me for doing jumping jacks during a recitation of "The 16 Fundamental Truths of The Assemblies of God."
(I suddenly broke into involutary jumping jacks right after #8: "WE BELIEVE that Green Day are NOT a real punk rock band.")
What am I going to do?! Those Assemblies of God Secret Mounted police are BAD mofos!! Any advice is appreciated!!!
__________________ For the last time, I am NOT insane! gggxk
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03-11-2005 13:07 |
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dennis
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 09-19-2002
Posts: 13,303
Location: In not-quite earth, in not-quite heaven.
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quote: |
Originally posted by Berger Roy Al
Those Assemblies of God Secret Mounted police are BAD mofos!! |
LOL!
__________________ I'm talkin' bout the Vinyl , the Holy Vinyl.
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03-12-2005 06:55 |
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carl
Platyhelminth
Registration Date: 03-15-2002
Posts: 6,960
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Just start barking. That'll help put them at ease while you make yr getaway.
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03-11-2005 13:09 |
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Goliath
Dark Steamy Cabbage
Registration Date: 01-14-2003
Posts: 15
Location: Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll go pee on him.
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quote: |
Originally posted by carl
Just start barking. That'll help put them at ease while you make yr getaway.
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But caaaaaaaaaaarlie, God doesn't LIKE it when we make fun of onomatopoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
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But Daaaaaaaaaaayvey, God doesn't LIKE it when we set off dirty bombs at Kerry/Edwards headquarters!
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03-11-2005 13:37 |
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Eleanor
Platyhelminth
Registration Date: 03-13-2002
Posts: 5,111
Location: NFP
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you shouldn't have anything to worry about barger, unless.....
you weren't naked when you did the jumping jacks were you?
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03-11-2005 13:09 |
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carl
Platyhelminth
Registration Date: 03-15-2002
Posts: 6,960
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I'm sure yr Roydar would've went off if he HAD been...
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03-11-2005 13:11 |
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Berger Roy Al
Swirling Eddies
Registration Date: 02-14-2003
Posts: 1,286
Location: I AM NOT insane!
Thread Starter
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Naked?! Don't be silly! I was wearing my yellow chiffon evening dress.
__________________ For the last time, I am NOT insane! gggxk
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03-11-2005 13:11 |
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jiminy
Tallowy Tamale
Registration Date: 11-16-2002
Posts: 9,494
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WITH THAT PRETTY BLUE SCARF?
__________________ jiMinY
theres nothing to EVER put here that will please everyone-let alone anyone.
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03-11-2005 13:24 |
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Berger Roy Al
Swirling Eddies
Registration Date: 02-14-2003
Posts: 1,286
Location: I AM NOT insane!
Thread Starter
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Thanks Jiminy, I'll give it a try!
__________________ For the last time, I am NOT insane! gggxk
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03-11-2005 13:35 |
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baxter
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 09-19-2002
Posts: 15,688
Location: "Come, let us to our holy task again."
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Berger,
You need to commit to memory Swaggart's entire mea culpa speech and use it with some croc tears when they approach you. It will hold the Mounties at bay for at least 30 seconds, and you can make a get away.
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03-11-2005 13:37 |
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jiminy
Tallowy Tamale
Registration Date: 11-16-2002
Posts: 9,494
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quote: |
Originally posted by baxter
Berger,
You need to commit to memory Swaggart's entire mea culpa speech and use it with some croc tears when they approach you. It will hold the Mounties at bay for at least 30 seconds, and you can make a get away. |
LOL..
perhaps a lil more Tammy Faye around the eyes too- that'll leave a puddle of bluish black goop that they'll slip on like a banana peel.
__________________ jiMinY
theres nothing to EVER put here that will please everyone-let alone anyone.
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03-11-2005 14:05 |
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Berger Roy Al
Swirling Eddies
Registration Date: 02-14-2003
Posts: 1,286
Location: I AM NOT insane!
Thread Starter
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Nope, didn't work. I said "Wouldst thou please leave me alone?" and he smashed me over the head with a copy of the "Assemblies of God Position Papers." And yes, I'm hoping it doesn't refer to that either.
__________________ For the last time, I am NOT insane! gggxk
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03-11-2005 13:39 |
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Skippy the Wonder Dog
Unsullied Affiche
Registration Date: 02-11-2003
Posts: 37
Location: "Stop telling lies." Then he went away.
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quote: |
Originally posted by Berger Roy Al
Nope, didn't work. I said "Wouldst thou please leave me alone?" and he smashed me over the head with a copy of the "Assemblies of God Position Papers." And yes, I'm hoping it doesn't refer to that either. |
What the hell's wrong with papers, now???
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03-11-2005 13:40 |
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baxter
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 09-19-2002
Posts: 15,688
Location: "Come, let us to our holy task again."
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You can also repeat the words "loving and reaching" several hundred times. This also seems to mollify them.
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03-11-2005 13:39 |
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Skippy the Wonder Dog
Unsullied Affiche
Registration Date: 02-11-2003
Posts: 37
Location: "Stop telling lies." Then he went away.
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You said it, goliath!!!!
"Seek not, forbid not"??? Get a REAL pair of balls, you C&MA reject!!!
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03-11-2005 13:39 |
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Berger Roy Al
Swirling Eddies
Registration Date: 02-14-2003
Posts: 1,286
Location: I AM NOT insane!
Thread Starter
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Ok, now I'm going to try to combine baxter's and carl's suggestions.
__________________ For the last time, I am NOT insane! gggxk
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03-11-2005 13:41 |
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baxter
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 09-19-2002
Posts: 15,688
Location: "Come, let us to our holy task again."
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Could you post a few of those positions?
For our edification only, of course.
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03-11-2005 13:42 |
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baxter
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 09-19-2002
Posts: 15,688
Location: "Come, let us to our holy task again."
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Berger,
if nothing else works, you could don some pajamas and spongebob slippers, feign a bad back, and weakly grab your crotch several times?
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03-11-2005 13:45 |
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carl
Platyhelminth
Registration Date: 03-15-2002
Posts: 6,960
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I'd like to think my son is a LITTLE more original than that.
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03-11-2005 13:46 |
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