jlemarr777 
Dark Steamy Cabbage
Registration Date: 02-01-2006
Posts: 20
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I lost my dad this week, Terry. I talked to you about him a couple of years ago when the Dogs played The Door in Dallas. He was in the hospital then, and I told you that I grew up listening to DA because of my dad's love for Shotgun Angel. You told me that you would pray for him... and it must have worked, because he got better then.
I had tickets for The Door to see Mike Roe last Saturday, but something was wrong with dad. We talked to him on Friday, Mom and my brother and I. He was born with an immune deficiency and has been sick off and on his whole life... one battle after another. Last Christmas was spent in ICU, but dad was a fighter. His temp. got to 106.3 one night... and he survived... one more miracle in a miraculous life. This time, though, he wasn't sure if he wanted to go to the hospital again... for certain, he wanted no respirator.
"Jeff?" he asked me, sitting on his bed. "I'm here, dad." I was near his blind eye, so he couldn't see me. Apparently, he didn't hear me either. "Jeff?" I walked to his bed and knelt down... told him I was there... asked if he needed something. "Just a hug," he said. When I obliged, he asked for another... and then told me he was scared. I told him that no matter what was coming... what we had to face this go 'round... HE had nothing to be afraid of. He nodded, and after mom talked to him, he let me drive us all to the hospital.
I didn't go see Mike's show Saturday... I gave the tickets to friends. I stayed at the hospital and went home when they kicked us out of ICU at 10pm. Dad was out of it... getting more carbon dioxide than oxygen in his blood, they said. They wanted the respirator, but we did what dad wanted... we said no. We let them put a mask on him, though, to help him breathe. He didn't like it, we knew, but he would sleep through it. It was a small chance, but one we needed to take.
Sunday morning, before the sun rose, I was called to the hospital. His oxygen level was still dropping. Mom and I cried and nodded to each other, knowing that we needed to get that mask off of him and make him comfortable. The nurses gave him something to help him relax... and morphine to rid him of pain... and around 7a.m. on Sunday morning... the time of morning Dad used to spend putting the finishing touches on his morning sermon, Dad got to meet Jesus face to face.
Mom wanted the funeral on Tuesday, so we had to meet with the funeral home that same day. Through tears, we planned and talked about the people that Dad would want to speak... a good friend, who prayed at his ordination, and a younger pastor whom my dad had mentored. Then Mom asked me to write something... which I did, and read Tuesday at his funeral. I'll close with that later, but I want to tell you what this has to do with you...
My daddy loved "Soon." He talked about hearing it years before I knew what he was talking about. He didn't even know it was his old faves Daniel Amos that did it. But after I became a DA and Eddies fan, I came across "Soon," and dad wept when he heard it. Over the years, it meant a great deal to him... and before the closing prayer at his funeral, it played one last time for Dad. I wept... and thanked God for my dad... a mighty man of God. I thanked the minister, and Dad's friend, who said a wonderful prayer... and now I thank you, Terry, for touching us, and reminding us with "Soon" of that deep desire to see the Bridegroom coming for us again. I know I'll see Dad again... but I know we'll both be so caught up with seeing Jesus that it may not matter much then. My Daddy loved your song... and I love you for giving us the perfect song to close the remembrance of my Dad.
I close with the words I shared yesterday. I choked up a time or two, but Dad helped me get them out. I know you never knew him, nor do the people on this board... but perhaps this will give you all a glimpse of who Dad was.
****************************************************
If my dad was here today, he would make you laugh. His gentle spirit belied a wit that could catch you off guard. If he was here, he would catch hold of you somehow… with a word or a glance, and you would love him. It was his gift… one of many… to comfort with his presence. If he could make it, we all thought, so could we. If he could sit in his wheelchair, bent over from one maelstrom after another, and make us laugh… then we could laugh with him… we could have hope.
If my dad was here today, he would tell you not to look at his old body and feel sorry for him. Though, in battle after battle, he fought to hold onto his life, he would be the first to tell you that death is not the end. It’s barely even the beginning. He would remind you of some verse of scripture that you had forgotten about or the lyric to some hymn… not something random that proved his point, mind you, but something that touched him… something that moved him… something about this world being temporary… nothing but a vapor… that to die is gain. How could it be anything else to someone so wounded by this life?
If my dad was here today, he would show off his new body… the one that will never grow old… never tire… never succumb to pain or sickness. He would tell you that what awaited him in Heaven… the peace… the joy… the chance to see face to face the Savior whom even those with the mightiest faith can see only darkly through the glass of this wounded world…that the reward outweighs the cost… that the fight was worth fighting… that these scars, the pain, the sorrow we feel in this life… are but temporary things when compared to matchless glory of what waits beyond.
If my dad was here today, he would preach to you, for it was his delight to share with you the risen Lord, Who changed him and moved him. He would remind you that, wherever you are, wherever you’ve been, however far you’ve fallen and no matter how far you’ve run from the truth of it… Jesus loves you. Dad would tell you that there is no greater truth that you could leave with today… no gift he would rather leave you with… than the assurance of Christ’s love for you.
If my dad was here today, he would let you see his brokenness…his humanity… his doubts and weaknesses. He would say that, like a tree weathered and aged, he took a beating from time to time. I’m certain that he would tell you that winter had come and settled over him for quite a while. He would admit how hard it could be to see your leaves drifting away…the cracking of the bark, the creaking of the branches. He would admit that there were more than a few days when he wondered if perhaps God had forgotten him… left him in his shattered frame to linger on. He would tell you those things, not to dishearten, but so that you would not feel alone in such a desperate time. Faith, even the strongest faith, can be shaken from time to time. Dad was no exception.
But Dad would also tell you the Truth that ran deeper than any doubt… the truth that, barren and withered as any tree may become in winter’s grip, spring is on the way. The Son is rising on a warmer day, bringing with it the first thaw in many a year. No matter how lifeless a tree may seem in the chill of winter, like any season, it will pass… and give way, in due time, to spring and all its colors. Dad would tell us to open our eyes and our ears to it… to breathe in the scent of the springtime he now enjoys… until the time comes, at last, when he will meet us again in the summer that will not end.
This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by jlemarr777: 02-01-2006 19:06.
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02-01-2006 18:19 |
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Lur King
Ceremonial Kernel
Registration Date: 04-10-2003
Posts: 1,512
Location: on a throne of course
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I'm back in the sea... Dodo/Lurker ~ My MySpace
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02-02-2006 14:30 |
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servantsteve
Disjasked Lerna
Registration Date: 07-02-2002
Posts: 4,168
Location: Ole Virginny
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Jeff,
Thanks for those beautiful sentiments for your Dad. He sounds so wonderful, so special. You must feel horrible that he has left this World. The World has certainly felt a loss along with your precious family with the passing of so great a servant of God. Try to remember how much a better a world this truly is because your Daddy lived, how many people will rejoice at the coming of our precious Savior because your Daddy talked to them, prayed with them, cried with them. I pray that followers of Christ will continue to bless God forever because your Daddy lived and loved and was so special. I don't know you, but I am crying for you.
Dr Steve Luke
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02-01-2006 20:01 |
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jlemarr777
Dark Steamy Cabbage
Registration Date: 02-01-2006
Posts: 20
Thread Starter 
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| quote: |
Originally posted by servantsteve
Try to remember how much a better a world this truly is because your Daddy lived, how many people will rejoice at the coming of our precious Savior because your Daddy talked to them, prayed with them, cried with them. I pray that followers of Christ will continue to bless God forever because your Daddy lived and loved and was so special. Dr Steve Luke |
I wept when I saw your response, Steve, because in all the chaos of conflicted emotions... I forgot to think about the people that will get to meet Jesus face to face because my Dad loved them with the Father's heart. Your words... and those of the others... mean a great deal. I will pass them along to my Mom, brother and daughter, that they will take comfort in them as well. Bless you.
J
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02-02-2006 13:30 |
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bereal
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 03-08-2004
Posts: 11,824
Location: "I still love Jesus, I'm just afraid of His followers." DwDunphy
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I am saddened to hear of your loss, but praising God with you that your Dad has now been truly healed. Your sentiments for your Dad, although meant for Terry, have touched me deeply. Thank you for sharing that here on the DAmb. I have been in the process for some time of trusting God in the midst of struggles, of accepting the difficulties I must face in this life and knowing that God has not forgotten me and that I can rest my weary soul in his loving hands and he will help me through whatever I face ~ I don't have to fight it every step of the way (my natural inclination). Thank you so much for the encouragement ~ and praise God that your Dad's legacy lives on and still touches lives. 
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Holy God break me, Holy Lord take me
Lay your crushing hand, Your mighty hand, On me gently
Your crushing hand, Your mighty hand, On me gently
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02-01-2006 20:50 |
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Mark
Moderator
Registration Date: 03-18-2002
Posts: 9,525
Location: Grand Encephalon - Words have their place but live what you say God can have His way when you hit them with Love
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Thank you so much for sharing that story. I pray for you and your family. I don't know you either, but your story touched me all the same. Your father is with The Father now. Rejoice in that even though you and your family are now sad. Losing a family member is very hard. Continue to keep your father alive by telling your children and grandchildren about him.
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But never, never pin your whole faith on any human being: not if he is the best and wisest in the whole world. - C.S. Lewis
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02-01-2006 21:06 |
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jiminy
Tallowy Tamale
Registration Date: 11-16-2002
Posts: 9,494
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jle
I am reading right now about the Wood between the Worlds. (In Lewis book)
You and your dad both stopped by there it sounds..in those moments together before he went onward..
prayers toward you and for your mom also
Jim
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jiMinY
theres nothing to EVER put here that will please everyone-let alone anyone.
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02-01-2006 21:08 |
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PuP
Moderator
Registration Date: 07-09-2003
Posts: 11,774
Location: The DAmb Home for Wayward Sons and Fragile Daughters
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Amazing. Simply amazing. Your father is still preaching...
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"At times this board is a place of thought provoking discussions, but most often it resembles a not quite done Mexican taco." - Jevon the Tall
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02-01-2006 21:32 |
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Eis
Official Impasto
Registration Date: 03-18-2002
Posts: 3,470
Location: One too many mornings and a thousand miles behind...
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I appreciate you sharing that with us here on the board.
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02-01-2006 21:49 |
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servantsteve
Disjasked Lerna
Registration Date: 07-02-2002
Posts: 4,168
Location: Ole Virginny
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I played "Soon" as a tribute to your Dad. I will probably think of him everytime I play or hear that beautiful song.
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This is where I put my signature.
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02-01-2006 23:07 |
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Audiori J
Administrator
Registration Date: 11-27-2004
Posts: 7,730
Location: "Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I AM stuck in the middle with you." - Stealers Wheel
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We'll make sure Terry sees this if he hasn't already.
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“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.” Matthew 5:11
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02-02-2006 08:53 |
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peawinkel
Ceremonial Kernel
Registration Date: 03-24-2005
Posts: 2,018
Location: Alabaster, AL
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Very touching. Thanks for sharing with us. We're praying for you.
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If you tuned in to listen to Third Day, Casting Crowns, or Chris Tomlin,
You've come to the wrong place
P103
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02-02-2006 10:37 |
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DwDunphy
Ceremonial Kernel
Registration Date: 08-18-2003
Posts: 1,817
Location: Red Bank, New Jersey
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I'll eternally be on the fence about the arguments of "now they are in peace" and "they're not suffering now", all of which are true and all of which are always offered with sincerity...
As an easily attached human being, letting go is so very difficult. We want what is best for our loved ones, to be in the full glow of God's presence. But we also want them to be here, now, always. I know that I should not feel anything but joy for my mom's 'ascension', but no, there are many times where I feel many things, none of which can be recognized as "joy".
But the arguments remain. She's at peace. She's not suffering anymore. Or as the Kerry Livgren song once went: "Remember me, not as you see, as I will be, not as I am. Beyond the pale, dark shadows fail; the lion lies down with the lamb"
My thoughts go with you, bro.
DwD
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02-02-2006 17:51 |
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Mountain Fan
Ubique Epoque
Registration Date: 10-09-2003
Posts: 14,224
Location: NC, Alive and Kicking, BOBD
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Thanks for sharing your personal story, and prayers for you and your family in your time of loss. Knowing their destination don't always make it much easier. For me in times of loss it's at least comforting knowing that my tears are more for me than for the loved one now "home free".
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I love Soon and occasionally just listen to it for awhile on "repeat".
Soon
Daniel Amos
Soon
words and music by Terry Taylor
©1986 Broken Songs
And the river flows from the throne of God,
Passing by the tree of life
And in this place no candle burns
For the Lamb shall be our light
See the Holy city coming down from heaven
Here, there'll be no tears, no night
We shall reign with Him in raiment shining bright
(Chorus) And we say "Come Lord!" (Jesus quickly come)
And he says "My reward is with Me."
And we say "Come Lord!" (Jesus quickly come)
And He says "I am the first and last"
The Bride crys "Even so, oh when will my Love return?"
We say "Come Lord!"
And He says "Soon!"
We will see His face, He will speak our name
And He'll wipe our tears away
He shall be our God, we shall be his own
And His love will light our way
There will be no sorrow, there will be no mourning
Death is vanquished on that day
"So come quickly Lord," the Bride and Spirit say
(Chorus)
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Revelation 21 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)
1 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.
4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.
6 And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
7 He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
...
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Got a few miles left ...
Make sure you have heard a Kind Word! 
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02-06-2006 09:34 |
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.backs.
Tallowy Tamale
Registration Date: 03-13-2003
Posts: 7,777
Location: "An autoposy will make him into a dorf-o-lantern on the Mesaage Boards ."
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There is no song i put on repeat more often.
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"Dorf can have his monk cakes, I live in a world built on inspirations divined from bonfires."
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02-06-2006 10:28 |
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Woggy
Platyhelminth
Registration Date: 03-13-2002
Posts: 6,079
Location: "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." ~~ Albert Einstein
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Thank you, kind sir, for sharing this wonderful story of your father's life and testimony. He sounds like an awesome guy..............
God bless your family at this sad time. May the memories of your dad sustain you in your sorrow.
Polly
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1 John 2:6
Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.
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02-06-2006 13:16 |
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Gabriel Syme
Woolly Eggwhisk
Registration Date: 01-31-2003
Posts: 759
Location: The banquet at the world's end
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jlemarr,
I had just listened to "Soon" right before I read your post. It is my favorite song, & now I'm trying not to break down crying at my desk here at work.
I am sorry for the loss of your father. You know he now rests with our Lord, & I pray you and your family may take comfort in that. May His grace and peace enfold you, as it does your father now.
GS
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02-08-2006 13:49 |
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samson
Esculent Eskimo
Registration Date: 04-11-2002
Posts: 46
Location: California ( stop surffing )
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He may be not with you but soon you will be with your dad..he is with Jesus
in arms of Love , he is missed you cry you long to be with him you will soon be with you dad in are LORD'S loveing arms never to part prise the FARTHER! on high.....
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02-09-2006 21:54 |
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RE: A Note to Terry...