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A DA related poem - The Beautiful Lady In the Blackberry Hat

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jlemarr777 jlemarr777 is a male

Dark Steamy Cabbage

Registration Date: 02-01-2006
Posts: 20

A DA related poem - The Beautiful Lady In the Blackberry Hat

Hey guys,

If you don't know me, other than the quote from me (re: Midget, etc.) on the home page, it's because I tend to lurk more than post. I'm making an exception this time, since I have something DA-related to share.

I've been working on some new poetry for an upcoming compilation. I finished this piece the other day, and as I was reading over it, "Traps, Ensnares, Etc." popped into my mind. As I hummed along while reading, I couldn't think of a more appropriate title for this particular work. Perhaps Bella Donna inspired the work on some subconscious level.

Hope you enjoy.

J. Patrick Lemarr

*****************************************

The Beautiful Lady In The Blackberry Hat

Told, she did, her paramour

That all things lovely, right, and pure

Are due philosophy de jour

Fanaticism’s lure

Said, she did, its wicked grip

Could all archaic myths make slip

Then every shred of faith will strip

And bloody reason’s lip

Told, she did, her lover new

What good a deadened soul can do

To fools who steep in moral stew

On some forgotten pew

Said, she did, that God is dead

Slain by those of learned head

Who opted for His flesh instead

Of prayer and daily bread

01-26-2009 23:10

Ron E

Platyhelminth

Registration Date: 03-12-2002
Posts: 5,612
Location: Central Ontario Canada

RE: A DA related poem - The Beautiful Lady In the Blackberry Hat

Beautiful work. Thoughtful and insightful. Post more often!

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01-26-2009 23:12

AIM Screen Name of Ron E: Nearly as funny as the above!

Ritchie_az Ritchie_az is a male

Ceremonial Kernel

Registration Date: 07-02-2008
Posts: 2,139
Location: Arizona

Great poem! Cool

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01-27-2009 00:36

PuP
Moderator

Registration Date: 07-09-2003
Posts: 11,774
Location: The DAmb Home for Wayward Sons and Fragile Daughters

Great poem. It seems odd to see a mention of a Blackberry without the accompanying reference to Obama but hey, it's your poem.

Tongue

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01-27-2009 21:06

jiminy
Tallowy Tamale

Registration Date: 11-16-2002
Posts: 9,494

very nice- !

cadence is the key there- well "told"
and worth reading a number of times to absorb.

I dont write poetry , but music.
(well - which is poetry masked in distraction at times)

I put a lot of thought into my lyrical content( I know-for those who may have heard any-stop laughing!)- and feel that cadence can really define things-
look to Dr Love-who I find is a master at it.
and - agree! - post more oft Cool

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jiMinY

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01-28-2009 08:47

servantsteve servantsteve is a male

Disjasked Lerna

Registration Date: 07-02-2002
Posts: 4,168
Location: Ole Virginny

Thanks for sharing your work. You write beautifully. I love it!

I confess I often have a problem deciphering poetry so I'm writing this to show how I have broken it down. Please let me know if I got it right.

Theme: I am interpreting this as a new believer's prayer to Christ in which the believer describes how modern thought has compromised simple faith.

quote:

I. Told, she did, her paramour
That all things lovely, right, and pure
Are due philosophy de jour
Fanaticism’s lure

This stanza- is it saying that the things we are supposed to think on are corrupted or compromised by modern philosopy and that fanaticism lures people into poor modern philosophy?
Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things

quote:

II. Said, she did, its wicked grip
Could all archaic myths make slip
Then every shred of faith will strip
And bloody reason’s lip

Here, the same evil, modern philosophy makes old myths slip (displaces older philosophies? Are they myths, then or just seem to be?) This modern philosophy also strips faith and bloodies reason. I can see this illustrated in the modern philosophy of evolution which is widely espoused. This philosphy undermines faith in the creator and despite its claims, is neither logical nor reasonable as well.

quote:

III. Told, she did, her lover new
What good a deadened soul can do
To fools who steep in moral stew
On some forgotten pew

I'm not sure who the lover is, is it Christ? Here she is telling this lover that a soul that has listened to this modern philosophy becomes useless and dead. It may philosphize on morality and may even attend church, but it is faithless, useless, dead.

quote:

IV. Said, she did, that God is dead
Slain by those of learned head
Who opted for His flesh instead
Of prayer and daily bread

In this stanza, the final blow to Christianity is dealt when the wise ones espousing their modern philosophy have attacked Christ's message and gospel to the point that they have completely lost God in the mix. They should have kept to the simple gospel (daily bread) and submission to God (prayer).

This is not to say that God is dead at all, but that the modern philosophy has caused these wise fools to declare him to be dead in their reasoning.

Am I close or way off?

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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by servantsteve: 01-28-2009 09:20.

01-28-2009 09:11

Ritchie_az Ritchie_az is a male

Ceremonial Kernel

Registration Date: 07-02-2008
Posts: 2,139
Location: Arizona

Golly, all this time I thought it was about a hat.

Servantsteve, whether you got it right or not, I don't think I could read it without thinking of your analysis.

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01-28-2009 09:46

jiminy
Tallowy Tamale

Registration Date: 11-16-2002
Posts: 9,494

well - thats the art of art
there is no more perfect interpretation then what you got out of it personally

I agree thats the tone I felt also., and saw each stranza similarily.

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jiMinY

theres nothing to EVER put here that will please everyone-let alone anyone.

01-28-2009 10:04

jlemarr777 jlemarr777 is a male

Dark Steamy Cabbage

Registration Date: 02-01-2006
Posts: 20

Thread Starter Thread Started by jlemarr777

quote:

Originally posted by servantsteve
Thanks for sharing your work. You write beautifully. I love it!

I confess I often have a problem deciphering poetry so I'm writing this to show how I have broken it down. Please let me know if I got it right.

Theme: I am interpreting this as a new believer's prayer to Christ in which the believer describes how modern thought has compromised simple faith.

quote:

I. Told, she did, her paramour
That all things lovely, right, and pure
Are due philosophy de jour
Fanaticism’s lure

quote:

II. Said, she did, its wicked grip
Could all archaic myths make slip
Then every shred of faith will strip
And bloody reason’s lip

quote:

III. Told, she did, her lover new
What good a deadened soul can do
To fools who steep in moral stew
On some forgotten pew

quote:

IV. Said, she did, that God is dead
Slain by those of learned head
Who opted for His flesh instead
Of prayer and daily bread

Sorry I was slow to respond. My Internet is down and I'm having to reply to all my emails, etc. From my phone.

You are, for the most part, correct. The only major difference between my intent and your perception is - the "lady" believes what she says. She is attempting to educate her lover (man) on the folly of faith while I, the writer, am using her words to show the folly of philosophy.

01-28-2009 10:46

servantsteve servantsteve is a male

Disjasked Lerna

Registration Date: 07-02-2002
Posts: 4,168
Location: Ole Virginny

Thanks! That clears up my tough spot that she says "God is dead" in the 4th stanza. Excellent poem- it really got me thinking. The meter and rhyme is perfect without sing song or triteness. I love it.

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01-28-2009 11:05

sondance sondance is a male

Ceremonial Kernel

Registration Date: 05-04-2006
Posts: 1,815
Location: sittin' on the dock of the bay

nicely done, sir

always good to see a fresh spade in the soil

might there be a reciprocal exploration of the ageless Reply in the works?

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01-28-2009 15:11